Seasons Change

It's been 6 years since I wrote the passage below.  I have remembered on and off that I never published it but never got back to it to complete. What that passage doesn't talk about is the experience I had that a few years earlier when I traveled home to be with her for her surgery when we received the first diagnosis of breast cancer. I had been talking with God all the way, about fears, about healing for her, all the things associated with loving someone with such a diagnosis.  Somewhere between Paducah and Saint Louis a song came on the radio.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was Mercy Me's "Even If" when the following lyrics were sung I just, I don't even know how to say it, just knew it was God...

I know You're able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You'd just say the word

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

I felt him saying, what are you going to do if I don't heal her?  Are you still going to serve me?  Love me?  Trust me?  My answer then was it is now, Yes, Lord I will trust you, serve you, love you.  Though we might not always like the answer, God is still in control.  He works things out for our good (Romans 8:28), even though we may not see it at the moment. We will go through hard times, Jesus promised that. John 16:33 says 

 In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world

He made this statement to his disciples to prepare them for what lay ahead.  But he also tells us that today.  We will have troubles.  We will have sicknesses.  It's part of living in this fallen world. A scripture a lot of people quote is Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  We see it at sporting events.  And, of course, it's true.  But when Paul said that, he wasn't talking about God being with us as we succeed.  In the verses prior to 13, Paul is telling of his struggles (vs 10-13)

 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. 

Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content 

whatever the circumstances.

 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. 

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, 

whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Paul wasn't talking about God giving him strength to be successful, he was saying that no matter the situation, God gives him the strength to do what ever he is called to do.  Maybe that is scoring the winning touchdown, but more likely it's to withstand the struggles of this life. So, if you find yourself in a struggle of some sort, know that God is there for you.  Call on Him.  He provides the peace that surpasses understanding.  I don't know why he didn't cure my mom on this earth.  But she is cured now. Though I still miss her everyday, I know that she has complete healing and is no longer hurting or sick.  Her legacy of servanthood still lives on in those who loved her and is being passed on to others.  

October 2019

 As I sit here at the beach on a beautiful October morning, I watch the waves come crashing into the shoreline.  I think this is one of the most beautiful sounds God ever created.  I call this my happy place because this is where I feel the most peace and calm and hear God's voice the best.  I'm not sure whether it's the place or just the fact that I slow down enough that I can hear God's voice.  Maybe both!  I love all of nature.  Being at the lake is beautiful.  I love hiking to a waterfall.  I love visiting gardens and working in my own.  But it's something about the beach that calls me to be still and listen.  One of my favorite verses in the bible is Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  God has blessed me with a few days to be still and listen to Him.
     In a few short hours, storms are scheduled to roll in.  The sun will be covered by clouds and rain will fall.  Maybe even a few thunderstorms.  That's kind of like the seasons of life, isn't it?  We have days that will be calm, everything beautiful and going our way.  Then, sometimes without warning, the clouds roll in and we are in a season where things are tough. 
     I had this tripped planned for a few weeks.  I knew I needed some rest from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  You see, my life gets kind of crazy in the fall.  I love it, but it's crazy.  School starts back (I am a teacher) as well as cross country is in full swing (which I coach).  Long days and weeks from the beginning of school until mid November when xc season ends.  But then we go into the holiday season so it really doesn't slow down a whole lot! Always, go, go go!  The spring really is not much better because competition season begins for Culinary and FCCLA as well as prom.  It's really hard to "be still" and find time to listen to God. So I really felt like I needed this break. 
    It has been a good restful few days.  Time in God's word.  Time enjoying His creation.  Time to reflect and get re-centered.  And just in time.  You remember at the beginning of this I mentioned how seasons change.  Well, it's that time.  Not only are we moving from summer into fall (the weather in Alabama is just now figuring out it is supposed to be fall!!) but my family will be moving into a new season as well.  You see, we just got news that a beloved member of our family, our matriarch, has been diagnosed with cancer again.  The prognosis is not what we would hope for.   But we are still believing in a miracle.  Our God can cure whatever he wants to.  He is bigger than cancer.  But sometimes he chooses not too.  We don't understand why.  As I was listening to Him this morning, my spirit spoke to me that "I gave you this time of rest to prepare you for the fight ahead."  I don't know what that will entail, but I do know that my God goes with me.  It has been said God doesn't waste a hurt.  As we walk through this battle I will be adding my thoughts, prayers, struggles and whatever else we face.  Maybe it will be able to help someone else.  Maybe it's just a release for me.  Either way I am following His lead.
 

Am I Saul or Am I Paul

I've been wrestling with something God put on my hear a couple of years ago.  I felt God prompt me to post what I learning through my discipleship class as well as in my own personal time with him.  I've been fighting the insecurities of opening my heart and putting words down on paper.  But Sunday, my pastor was preaching on obedience.  He said a lot of  things I have been thinking and praying on, but two things really stood out.  The first was "Delayed obedience is still disobedience." It's not the first time he has said that, but this time it hit different.  It was like God was saying "I have told you to do this, and you still are not doing it.  You are being disobedient." Ouch!  I have had several topics that come across my heart that I feel He is saying, "you need to write about this". I just keep putting it off until I felt more qualified to write/talk about it. But I'm learning I really am never qualified because I don't know it all and never will, but also I am very qualified because I can speak of what He has done in my life. So bear with me, as my mentor often says, "I may not always get it right, but my heart is to get it right."  As I start this journey, I may not always say things right, but I feel as long as I am allowing God to give me the words, it will speak to those who need to hear it. 

The second thing that my pastor said was, "If there is no change, there is no Jesus."  He was speaking to how when one becomes a believer, there should be evidence in their life that there is change.  That doesn't mean we won't sin, because we are human and humans are flawed creatures, but that does mean that we should be striving to be more like Jesus everyday.  I do think that means that we should overcome habitual sins.  The Bible addresses this in several versus, but two of the are:

Romans 6:1-2, "Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who have died to sin still live in it?" 

and Galatians 2:21, stating, "I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain". 

One of the main writers of the new testament was Paul.  In short, Paul was born with the name Saul.  He was a religious leader in the Jewish faith.  He hated Christians and was instrumental in killing many in the early days after Christs death, burial and resurrection. To make a long story short, God got a hold of Saul's heart and he made a radical change and began being a missionary of the gospel of Christ.  So radical, in fact, that he even changed his name to Paul. Many Christians were scared of him because of his past.  They had a hard time accepting the life change that happened to him. So my reluctance has been that many people knew me before I accepted Christ (my Saul era) and honestly , I was afraid of what some of them might think. You see, I have not always been a believer of Christ.  In my high school days, I knew I was searching for something.  I just didn't know what it was.  I turned to alcohol and relationships, but nothing ever filled the void.  In fact, looking back on it now, it left me in a deeper pit of despair.  Oh yes, I covered it up.  Acted like I was having fun, but in reality, I was miserable and didn't know why.  I had always gone to church, but never had a personal relationship with Jesus.  It was more about history and do's and don'ts. I continued to search for what was missing when I went to college.  A lot of the same, the first semester.  But then towards the end of my freshman year, I was introduced to Jesus the Savior.  I do not ever remember hearing a sermon on salvation before that and what it meant to not only believe there was a God, but to actually believe in Him.  I accepted Christ when I was 19.  This was my Paul moment.  I am not saying that I have it all together the way Paul did, but I am saying that God changed me.  I will never write half the new testament  or go down in history like Paul has, but maybe something I write can help someone come to know or at least seek out this thing called Salvation. Salvation is simple. Believe in God the Father, that he sent his son to die for us on the cross, and accept that gift of salvation by acknowledging that you are a sinner (we all are!), repent of that sin by asking for forgiveness and turning from it, and accepting Jesus as your savior. 

John 3:16 (NIV):

• "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life". 
• "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved". 

• Romans 10:9-10:

• "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast". 

• Ephesians 2:8-9:

• "Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved". 

• Acts 4:12:

• John 3:36:"He who believes in the Son has eternal life; he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him

See, simple!  You notice I didn't say easy.   There is nothing easy about accepting Christ as your Savior. It takes a lot guts to acknowledge you have blown it.  It takes a lot of discipline to not go back to what is comfortable and usual for your life, to live how you have always lived (habits). But it is a blessing that until you experience it, you will never understand.  I hope if you have not ever taken this step that you will let God speak to your heart.  He's calling you unto himself.  He wants everyone to come to know Him and have a relationship with him. It's not about religion, it's about a relationship.  It's not about going to church (though finding a good church will help you on your journey), it's about going to Him. Humans are flawed (yes even Christians), He is not.  He is loving.